had the CT scan this morning, it has got to the point that the staff now remember me, two recognised me from previous visits, as the dye flooded my veins i did begin to wonder if i was hitting the kill or cure mark. They inject a dye into your arm and you can feel it warming your body top to toe inside, there are a number of peculiar feelings that the cancer sufferer is subjected to in the course of their treatment.
Anyway results next week, and i am off to bed, having argued with Joe and Zak already this week tonight was Adam's turn i made macaroni and cheese but added cauliflower on top which he didin't like even though i didn't give him it just the macaroni and he just blew his top.
Need sleep.
Oh Hazel,
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have a lot to put up with.I do hope the results will be o.k.Three lads sound like a lot of hard work.Do you think their knowledge of your illness makes them more abrasive?I know when I think I'm going to get upset I mentally toughen up,as I hate that feeling of weakness and I think males are sort of brought up to be 'tougher'.
I loved your post about Aunty and Uncle,so many unanswered questions.Having had(and still do) an odd relationship with my mother,I am always fascinated by other women admitting to the same,as it seems to be a taboo subject.
Warmest regards
Mimi
P.S.
I still think your sons sound wonderful,and they are very lucky to have you!
Thanks Mimi, i think Adam is the result of being in the middle of his dad and my separation, i am not saying i was brilliant through it but his dad said things to him that he really shouldn't have done which Adam told me. It's screwed him up a bit and for a while he was very much his fathers son but as i thought as he has become older he is able to sort the wheat from the chaff and is seeing both sides now....but it has left it's mark. I guess as my relation ship with my mother moulded me, i think the mother daughter relationship isn't easy, when i see women heavily reliant on their parents i feel for them too in a way, good to have a middle ground.
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