Woke up this morning to get Adam off to school to finish some course work for his GCSE's he has left it late and quite honestly hasn't done much in the way of revision. Mind you i was no different i don't think having such a disorganised mother is very helpful.
Then took the dogs for a walk through the park to go and have my line cleaned and bloods taken. I tie them up for a little while, we used to do that in the 70's with my dog and it wasn't such a big issue, the dog would wait patiently for our return as my dogs do now. However on one occasion i returned to find that someone had phoned the RSPCA as she thought the dogs had been abandoned. I love animals but i do despair these days of the way some people cosset them, my dogs were fine i came back they had a walk that they may not have had otherwise!
Then headed off to watch the boys singing at the school of rock Zak was fantastic and Adam was charismatic as ever i was really proud of them both.
Came home intending to tidy up, every room in the house is a real mess the fallout from having chemo and just not having the energy to get things done. Unfortunately the boys are not house trained i always found it easier to do than argue with the about when they were going to help me out. Joe lives in his room and keeps it tidy at least but Adam's room!!!!! typical teenager...Zak is heading that way but then my room is full of clothes that need to be sorted and put away but i never have the energy!
It isn't something that i feel i can ask for help with, the boys dad still lives in the house and is not working and was helping out when i asked....but i hate asking!
We had a big row then about a week ago, i headed up to Norfolk to attend a friends wedding and before leaving we talked which degenerated into a big argument during which is was told i have cancer because i am a bad person and that is God punishing me... i asked why his life hadn't worked out so well and he responded to that by saying it was because he listened to me! So a double whammy....he is Moroccan and knowing him i know he probably believes it but also that he was lashing out. But what it did do was confirm the need to sort this out once and for all, i told him he should leave he said 'when he gets his money' which he knows i can only do by selling the house which is the last thing i want to be doing under current circumstances.
Hey ho!
I meant to write more but i need to sleep always so tired of late and so much to be done!!! where did i put that wand?
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