Snow Joke!

Pic i took in New york State Jan 2009

The snow is here at last! there is no way that you will hear me complain about it i love it. The boys Adam and Zaki headed out last night about 9pm with three friends to the park with sledges that i bought last year after the last snow had gone. They were out for about and hour at least and i stayed warm by the fire that i ended up opening up again after christmas. I also adore a real fire, it was one if the reasons that i bought the house there are two open fires in the two downstairs rooms and then in the bedrooms each room has a fireplace with a mantle piece however they are all tiled over my room has pink tiles, Joe's Green and Zaki's grey, Adam's room was an extension over the garage so he doesn't have one. I have to say that i tend towards keeping things as they were. I love original features, the house is 1930's very square rooms but large, Zaki's room is the smallest but would have room for a double bed if need be, mind you there wouldn't be alot of floor space left but still. Joe's room faces the garden and he has a king size bed sofa triple wardrobe, 42 inch tv and on his chest of drawers.... a present he bought himself with his first pay packet and a loan from friends! Adam has a kingsize bed too in his room they are so tall now they need the extra length. Mine however is a super kingsize bed i got in a sale, but only me in it so wasted really but i do love it.
I seem to have rambled and gone off on a tangent, my main concern tonight is my weight i feel huge, very likely because i have been on an eating spree which i tend to do this time of year, whenever i diet it seems to start around Feb/March.
In 2006 i started the lighter life diet that Pauline Quirke has just done, in three months i lost 4 stone!! It works because you just have three sachets of food mix each day and a bar, you stick to it because you do it in a group with other people and each week you don't want to be the one who hasn't lost anything. I also didn't have to think about what to eat and it went sooo quickly.
Now i have put most of that weight back on again, after losing it the first time it crept back on as i haven't yet managed to change my eating habits, then when i had my op it fell off me mainly due to nearly three weeks without eating at all! Ironically when i came out and was up and about again most people told me how well i looked!
Anyway tonight i have reached bursting point enough! The doctor keeps saying how good it is that i haven't lost weight, but i feel uncomfortable and unhealthy at the moment so i am going to do something about it. I need to lose at least three stone, maybe the chemo will help in that quest certainly when i was having radiotherapy my appetite went which is un heard of with me!
Mind you after my op i got to the point that i would quite happily have continued without eating, i used to sit and watch all the other patients get their meals without any pang of regret or jealousy.
I wish i didn't yo yo so much and just get hold of my eating but i am a classic comfort eater and live has been spiraling a bit lately.
I saw the registrar on Thursday and he got me to sign all my chemo papers to agree to have it. I will ahve 4 cycles initially and then they will scan me again to see if it is working or not, if not then i don't know, the other worry is that i will be having oxalyplatin again and i still ahve numb feet from the first time which they will monitor. I did point out that i would rather be here longer with funny feet. I also have to have capecitabine tablets which i hate, he said i could have 5 FU via a pump but that seems a bit of a to do if the alternative is just to have tablets, they dry my hands and feet and i hate having to remember to take them each day.
So i am just waiting to hear from the chemo nurses about when to start, they are the same ones who gave it to me the last couple of times that i have had it so it will be a bit like a home from home and only a 15 minute walk to get there from home through the park which is good.
It is harder i think to go through it the more you have it, i know what the effects of it will be on me and how much i will be affected by the cold. I am known as the ice queen i go through bags of ice cubes because i crunch them at least 4 of five pint glasses a day of drink and ice to the brim. I will miss that as there is no way i can drink cold drinks with oxalyplatin.
Anyway tomorrow!!!!! i will diet, i say this every Monday lets see whether i actually do!!!!


Feb 10th.... I didn't going to have to rely on the chemo i think