Friends!

As i wrote the previous post i made a decision to talk about hte great friends that i have made over the years, some only recently some for many years and some i don't see often but always treasure.

Best place to start is Chronologically

Jayne

Jayne and I on my 6th Birthday

Jayne and i met when we were five in Aldershot, her dad was in the paras and mine in the RAMC. We lived at opposite ends of a street within the main army estate. I vaguely remember when we met but her mum and mine had a sudden unforgetable introduction to our friendship. Jayne and i had met in the street playing and she came to play with me indoors. An hour or so later my mum heard a knock on the door and found a young girl asking if mum had seen her daughter Jayne as she was missing.....'yes she's in the back playing'
That set a friendship not only with me and Jayne but with our mothers and fathers too. We were both only children and when either of our parents went out we would stay at each others for the night. We were only a few months different in age but Jayne was tiny and i was tall. We argued a lot like siblings i think because we were used to getting our own way or not sharing, but equally we loved being together rather than playing alone. Jayne had bad asthma and exema, you can notice it on her knees in the pic. This meant that i became used to being told off for making Jayne laugh or not keeping things calm enough to stop her breathing becoming a problem. This was pre inhaler days and i remember Jayne being given a little tablet if she was weezy. We had great times in Aldershot going to saturday morning cinema, learning to ride our bikes, dressing up, catching ladybirds on the bushes on the estate and keeping them in jam jars! and of course dressing up for birthday parties.

The two of us older in norfolk

Our mothers on holiday in ilfracombe

Ultimately both fathers both called Peter left the army and moved to opposite ends of the country, Jayne to Plymouth and Me to Gt Yarmouth. But at christmas Jayne and her mum and dad would come and stay and in turn we would holiday in Woolacombe every year and part of that holiday was spent visiting Jayne. As we got older and into our teems the contact waned and i stopped holidaying with mum and dad. Jayne was a spirited child which got her into trouble at school she left early. In 1983 i was meant to go to Morocco again but at the last minute cancelled and instead went and stayed with Jayne and her parents. Jayne was a great artist and i was impressed with her art work that she had started to complete. I always loved her mum as she was young and fun and it was good to see her parents. We decided to come back to London and for the first time i hitched all the way it took us a day and we ended up on the south circular on the last stretch where we ended up with a lift to the bottom of my road!
I didn't see Jayne again for years after that, she married had two girls, divorced her dad died...of bowel cancer a few years before my dad died too. I visited a couple of times when in the area and then in the last three or four years we caught up again ourselves rather than hearing our news through our mothers...well mine had died so i guess that was where the need to contact directly came in again.
Jayne came up to visit with her partner and we went out and about around London, i have to say i didn't like her partner and later they split up and i said that i thought he was too self obsessed and frankly a bit odd. However a couple of years ago she married him, i guess being with him was better than being alone. They are into being freegens, and sound as though they have some religious background. Next time i am in Devon i will visit and in the meantime we keep up on facebook. We couldn't be more different i think in lifestyle and experiences but our shared childhood holds a lot of weight being only children no one else we know remembers what our parents were like and what live was like when we were kids and that is comforting for us both i think.

Debbie

After moving to Norfolk i ended up in the infant school class from hell. The teacher mrs Peek treated me appallingly and i was new! i was also quite deaf and during my time in her class had an operation to insert grommits, didn't stop her screaming at me at times when i didn't respond. She did that and worse it was an awful way to start a new life.
Finally i moved to the junior school and met Debbie. We became firm friends and as she also lived in the next road to me we spent most of our time together.
We played with pippa dolls, and made cardboard houses for them via blue peter. We had our first experiments with make up and walked to school together.
We remained friends through junior school and then moved to Grammar school together, but we weren't placed in the same class and after the first year our friendship drifted as we met new people. Debbie was very quiet where as i was loud and talkative but we complimented each other well.
After leaving school i didn't see her for a bit as i moved to London and she remained in Gt Yarmouth. Around 1983 i heard that she had been diagnosed with a brain tumour we were around 22 23 then. I met up with her on a visit home and we talked and reminised she had hair missing underneath her long locks where a shunt had been put in to drain the tumour op site. She was in great spirits and it was a good day. I didn't see her again, life in London took over my parents moved away and i no longer visited the area.
A couple of years ago i attended a school reunion and met and mutual friend. I asked what had happened to Debbie with a feeling that i would not get a positive answer. Indeed she told me Debbie had died about 10 years previously. I will always remember her fondly she was the first person i made friends with after my disasterous start and this helped my confidence somewhat, we enjoyed lovely innocent times together, just such a shame she was taken so soon.

Hilary

Hilary and her Husband Charles at my Wedding in 1988

I met Hilary when i arrived at the grammar school, it was by the skin of my teeth i think that i passed the 11 plus examination. My maths was and always has been atrocious but my english was at the other end of the scale and made up for my lack of mathematical skills.
I was designated Paget class house colours green only me and three other children went into this class from my junior school, two guys and me and another girl. She went and sat next to a girl she knew from gymnastics so i was left on my own. I gradually got to meet other girls in the class and one introduced me to Hilary as both our dad's had been in the army and we had lived at Aldershot. We went to school together and also worked at Woolworths together where Hilary's mum worked too, in our last summer Hilary came and worked with me at the night club too which was great fun. Hilary was quiet, good humerous and clever, we remained friends throughout the years at school, and when Hilary left to go to university in Hull i would go up and make the best of it myself joining in with the end of term balls and getting to know her friends.
Hilary and her uni friends organised a final year holiday in 1984 to the south of france camping. Hilary asked me and another friend from school if we wanted to go and we headed off by coach.......a terribly long journey. it was an 18 30 holiday and yes! they are just as bad as they are painted, i managed to excuse myself from most of the games but had a good time none the less.
Now believe it or not this holiday was the only time that i ever got drunk........out of my head drunk! We were eating a meal on a beach that we had been driven to by coach, the reps told us that as log as we were eating the drink was free but once the meal was over we had to pay.....Well!! that was it wine was poured into my glass and no sooner than it was poured i was encouraged to empty the glass. At the end of the meal iwas rather more loose lipped than i would normally be, at one point i have a vague memory of going paddling with a guy i had met on the holiday. I was told later that we both went in without removing our shoes which explained why i lost my sandals and why his trainers were soaking wet. In the end i threw up on the beach and sat with my eyes closed for the duration, i remember various voices coming to chat to me one of which was French and i think i had the best conversation in French that i have ever had. In the end i was dragged back to the coach by my friends, irregardous of me protesting and asking to be left there, i can understand this notion in other drunk people since. Suffice to say i have never been as drunk since and home not to be again.
Hilary married Charles and i attended her wedding as she attended mine. She later moved from Hull to lightwater surrey and we kept in christmas time contact. Then about 6 years ago i was at the business design centre in Islington with work on a stall at a work fair when suddenly i recognised the person standing in front of me Hilary!!!! we chatted and cuaght up after getting over the surprise and i made arrangements to visit her in Surrey which i did and met her parents again who i knew well from my youth. She has two boys now one the same age as my Adam and one younger. We haven't seen each other since but i notice that she has said that she will come to my birthday do via facebook! in october.

Caroline

Caroline was another girl that i met in my new class at school she and Hilary live din the next village to mine Belton she is in the grey tank top below at a party at the old school. Caroline was always very clever was fantastic at languages and maths as i remember. We had ups and downs with our friendship but always came back to being friends. Caroline went on holiday with me to Woolacombe one year and we spent a lot of time together.

Caroline left school before A levels to work in a bank which she still does. We lost contact really at that point and picked up again only a few years ago via facebook. I went to a firends birthday do in Norfolk earlier this year and Caroline agreed to go with me. The lext day i popped round to visit. We caught up and i discovered that at school she was having some family issues which would account for some of the times i guess that being friends was hard.
Caroline also apologised for blowing me up! but really it wasn't her fault really mine at the end of the day.
It happened in our cookery class in year 7. We had individual kitchen units to work in and i was in one with Caroline and another girl called Karen. I remember Caroline asking me if you have to light the oven?......i said i didn't think so not having gas at home myself i thought it would ignite itself, so Caroline turned on the oven ready to put something in later. In the meantime Karen needed to turn on the hob but was too afraid to, so i said i would do it for her........BANG!! as soon as i lit the gas the whole thing blew up as the gas had been collecting in the oven below. I was shot across the kitchen, sat there for a minute or two and then got up. The teacher ran around like a headless chicken and the other girls and guys well i don't remember they just were there. My tights were in rags around my ankles where the heat had melted them but i was ok, lol my hair was slightly singed too i think, but i wasn't black faced or smoking!
I carried on and finished what i was doing, i don't know where this laid back get over it appraoch comes from but it has stood me in good stead many times including reciving my diagnosis. The teacher commented to my dad later that she was astounded by my measured reaction.
An update Caroline came up for my 50TH Birthday party and if you look at the birthday post you will see a picture of me with her then.

Elaine

Elaine wasn't so popular at school, she had a reputation for being very strict as a prefect and we often found quivering first years in the sixth form block awaiting Elaines judgement. She was a huge character very gushing and loud and opinionated. Hilary and i were friends with her but quite frankly at times i think we were the only ones who would tolerate her. She had a boyfriend called Karl who we didn't much like but Elaine would talk about him as if he was an adonis......anyway the three of us ended up working at Woolworths together and then i helped them both get jobs where i worked at tiffanys nightclub. Again at the end of that summer we went our separate ways Elaine to become an art teacher which she had always wanted to be wehn we were at school. Again i caught up with her recently we met up to attend a school reunion together she looked great. There were a few girls from her class there one of which she told me had thumped her out of the blue, these were the netball girls who were the prettiest and most confident one of them said to Elaine that she was sorry for hitting her, there was no reason for it, it was just for a bet. That was the kind of thing that she had to deal with. Elaine told me that her dad who was my 6th form tutor had an awful drink problem and was a very difficult father. Again finding out what was going on in someone's background explains some of the experiences. We get on very well and Elaine is the best company we are very alike now more so than when we were at school.

Karin

Karin and i were in the same year at school but knew each other mainly from living near each other. We would cycle to school and back together and at weekends take our dogs for a walk along the beach. She loved animals as i did and that was our shared interest. We both worked once as prompts for the school play, this was initiated by me as i fancied the lead actor in most of the plays lee simpson.... One production was the crucible and as it was on a round stage we foudn the best place to be was underneath the stage. We had circled the pauses and sat in on all the rehersals so when we thought that more than enough time had gone we would shout out the next line. We had an unexpected guest during one performance, there was a short gangplank joining the stage to the main stage and Richard on leaving the main stage one night in the dark lost his footing and ended up tumbling off the stage to find me and Karin sitting there...not sure who was more surprised!
After A levels Karin went ot Brighton Poly and i spent a lot of time down there, in fact my 21st Birthday was spent with Karin in Brighton. Karin also went to morocco with me on holiday in 1984 i think. Karin met Simon her husband whilst working in a pub in Lowestoft they remain together after having one son and live in a lovely pat of Derbyshire.

School

Lee

I guess i should just mention Lee i was at school with him from the age of 7  and ultimately developed a huge crush on him. This doesn't end well he married a girl in the year below me Janita.......well not well for me but they have been together ever since!
What is even more interesting is that he is an actor and is a regular comedy store player on wednesdays and sundays at the comedy store. He has been in some tv programmes and films too. I keep meaning to go and see him and say hello someday. I did contact him a few years ago to see if he could get tickets for the comedy store for our school raffle which he did. Ah what might have been :o)
Below is his blurb from the comedy store.

LEE SIMPSON did his first show with the Players in 1989.
It was several months before he did his second.
In those early days he sported a beard and pony tail, and always wore a tie onstage. His reason being that if the audience thought 'Well he isn't funny..' they would also think 'But he's wearing a tie so at least he has made a bit of an effort'.
Taking cynical advantage of Paul Merton's broken leg he wangled himself a regular guest spot and became a full-time Player sometime in 1990. He thought very carefully about turning it down because at the time he was so terrified of doing the gig every week that he wasn't sure if his nervous system could take the strain.
Lee Simpson grew up in Great Yarmouth by the sea, where he found gainful employment cooking burgers in a Wimpy, as a croupier in a casino, and as a cinema projectionist.
Unable to get a proper showbiz job, he became an improviser. The money was bad but there was precious little hard work involved and the people seemed nice.
Since then his activities might (if you were being kind) be described as diverse. As well as his twice weekly appearances with the Comedy Store Players, he finds himself

writing plays with Phelim McDermott for the Nottingham Playhouse and the Royal Court

appearing in some sit-coms - TERRY AND JULIAN, DROP THE DEAD DONKEY

co-devising and narrating THE MASTERSON INHERITANCEfor Radio 4, for whom he's also done stuff like JUST A MINUTE and QUOTE UNQUOTE

spending time in tu'penny ha'penny theatre - making small, odd productions that stretch the definition of theatre and the credulity of the audience, invariably presented by the company of which he is a co-Artistic Director,IMPROBABLE

directing Paul Merton's latest one man show

acting in some proper telly drama and films - FAMILY MONEY, BLACKEYES, QUEEN OF HEARTS, PAPER MASK, NUNS ON THE RUN

performing a very poor poodle act at the London Palladium

and spending six months as a Breakfast show Dj

Phil

After i left school and moved to London i met Phil at my first job where we worked together. This was in a home for people with Learning Disabilities in South East London. Phil was from Devon and like me worked as  CSV i had done this the year before and had now managed to get a permanent job there. We got on really well and after a year or so Phil left and went to work in another home in the area about a couple of years later i ended up there too. When i got married Phil was there and although we lost contact for some years in between we caught up again and i remain in contact now. He is an only child too and we are like brother and sister from a different mother and father. He had a son with a woman he met through work who i couldn't abide hence the lack of communication for a while. We got back in touch with each other when we bumped into each other at Glastonbury the first year that i went. I did know he was going to be there as i had managed to contact his partner, but she of course never told him this. We spent the whole of the weekend together with our boys which was great for me as i had gone on my own with them.....that's a long story. 

He now lives back in Devon on a huge and beautiful farm on the banks of the tamar which is father and he runs with the help of a farm manager. He also opened his own home for children after getting his social work degree. 

About a couple of years ago on a visit we caught up with someone we both used to work with and now they are going out together, which was a little odd for me at first, but all cool now i am used to them being an item. It is likely that she will move to Devon at some point so will be nice to visit them again down there. I went with the boys a few years ago and they have great memories of playing on haystacks and then driving Phils car around one of the fields at ages 6 and 10 Joe didn't go and has always regretted it. My memory is of riding shot gun on Phils tractor as he showed me around the farm.

Jan

Jan and i worked with Phil at the same home she came around the time he left. We got on really well and we remain friends to this day. She is tinier than me but we have very similar characters. She had her daughter Jade and then son Lucas before me, i had Joe just under a year after Lucas was born. Whilst the kids were growing up and after we both moved to different jobs we only saw each other intermittently. Then before i had my op we got in contact and caught up she had left her husband steve and i was separated from Rachid, i was just about to go on holiday and said we would catch up when i got back. Both of us had no idea that the next time i would see her would be from my hospital bed! But as soon as she heard i was there she came down to see me. 

We have become even closer since then and have spent many a night out on the tiles having a good time and a dance, we have never argued once or got on each others nerves and i don't think anyone knows more about me than Jan. I also remind her frequently that she is older then me by a few years, although she really doesn't look it!